{"id":111,"date":"2022-01-08T20:34:46","date_gmt":"2022-01-08T20:34:46","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/la-granota.com\/blogs\/?p=111"},"modified":"2022-01-08T20:34:46","modified_gmt":"2022-01-08T20:34:46","slug":"saga","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/la-granota.com\/blogs\/index.php\/2022\/01\/08\/saga\/","title":{"rendered":"saga"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

This is a sneak preview (a preview for sneaks) of the beginning of THE saga<\/em>, which is awaiting publication as part of La Gr@not@’s relaunch (sometime early<\/strong> this year, 2022!) It’s a collaborative-writing novella, which was slapped together on a social media site for writers. A prequel – The Habit<\/em> – is being written NOW (and you<\/strong> can join the writing team!) HERE on WordPress<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

ALL proceeds from both books, when published, will be going to groups which work with refugees – either saving their lives at sea or working with them (especially with the children) on land.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So far, THE saga<\/em> has only one illustration (the cover). If any graphic artists would like to contribute further illustrations, they may be sent as JPG attachments (+\/-200kbs) to saga (AT) la-granota (DOT) com… or leave a comment below and we will contact you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

THE saga is divided into 3 parts: “The Fellowship Or Some Thing”, “The Two Towels”, and “The Return Of Tol Kien”. We show the beginning<\/strong> of “The Fellowship Or Some Thing” below.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Aisha wiped the mud out of her eyes before plunging her head into the almost-freezing mountain stream.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“That Jon!” she muttered (filling her mouth with water, the rash girl), “He’ll pay for this!”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Shaking her head caused myriad waterdrops to fly out from her long, red hair. \u2013 Emilie van Damm<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

A frog peeked out from a tree bole (it was a tree frog).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cBleedin\u2019 hoomings!\u201d it croaked. \u201cNarstying up our ribber!\u201d \u2013 Jimmy Hollis i Dickson<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Less of the hoomings!” Aisha spat through gritted, frozen teeth. “It’s as much our ‘ribber’ as yours.” \u2013 Hache L Jones<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

She considered throwing a handful of pebbles at the vile creature but thought it a waste of good anger. Instead she concentrated on tying up her knotted hair with unnecessary vigour. If she was going to catch up with Jon, she would need some shoes \u2013 anybody’s shoes. \u2013 Victoria Fielding<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

As if summoned, Jane Austen \u2013 turned into a zombie by unscrupulous literary agents keen for a 21st century scoop \u2013 stumbled out of the undergrowth.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThis is going to be a push-over\u201d, thought Aisha\u2026 and pushed Ms. Austen over.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The shoes were a bit small and really too dainty for forest running, but PERHAPS better than nothing. \u2013 Wilhelmina Lyre<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

[The literary agents of Ms. Jane Austen (b. 1775, d. 1817, z. 2016), being too unscrupulous to sign up with an upstanding web-site such as this, have put themselves (by devious means) in contact with myself and asked me to include the following contribution from their client:]<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWaaurughhhhhhhhh\u201d, ejaculated Miss Jane.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cDo not you think\u201d, riposted the tree-frog, \u201cthat you are hardly in a position to make such a statement? And watch your language: words have changed their meanings since you were alive, and there are children perusing this, do not you know?\u201d \u2013 Jane Austen<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Aisha, somewhat confused, beat the zombie Austen to a greasy stain with the dainty yet suprisingly lethal shoes, forever ending her plans to marry a handsomely moustached zombie. \u2013 Victoria Fielding<\/em> <\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

‘Hmm,’ said Aisha, wiping the remains of Miss Austen from the shoes. ‘A bit messy, but they’ll do.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Slipping the shoes on, she set off through the undergrowth, making for where she’d last seen Jon. \u2013 Helen Jones<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Meanwhile, three sneaky, creepy, slinking literary agents slinked creepily and sneakily from under a large, moss-covered rock and slinkily crept their sneaky way over to the remains of the greatest undead novelist in the English language\u2026 bar none!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cA shame to waste our investment,\u201d gargled one of them to the other two.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Schlepping the battered zombie away, they all squeaked sleekly: \u201cJane Austen shall rise again!<\/strong>\u201d \u2013 Jimmy Hollis i Dickson<\/em> <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Two kilometres ahead already, Jon (remember Jon?) was taking a breather and combing the lovely, long hair on his legs. He KNEW that Aisha would soon smell him out (that awful aftershave that he’d been forced to use after his overnight stay at Luigi’s) and face him down. Were red-heads ALWAYS this dangerous?!!! \u2013 Wilhelmina Lyre<\/em> <\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

A particularly large Red Kangaroo (Osphranter rufus)<\/em> \u2013 carrying a sunglasses-wearing Southern Hairy-Nosed Wombat (Lasiorhinus latifrons solisspeculi)<\/em> in her pouch (both of them on a long-desired European six-month holiday \u201cto take a squizz at the Poms and Euros\u201d \u2013 startled Jon by landing right in front of him after a six-metre bound.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cStrewth, Cobber, this is a fair dinkum op shop, and I\u2019m as dry as a dead dingo\u2019s donger!\u201d exclaimed the Osphranter.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cPay no attention to her: she\u2019s just skulled a whole row of gooms, and it\u2019s fried her brain; she doesn’t know Christmas from Bourke Street,\u201d explained the Lasiorhinus. \u2013 Emilie van Damm <\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Jon, in a vain attempt to maintain some degree of reality, could only stumble: \u201cI\u2019m afraid that I don\u2019t\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThose gooms have dried me out: got any amber fluid on you?\u201d insisted the kangaroo.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYou just watch it or the booze bus will be along to get you to blow in the bag\u2026 and I\u2019m getting out before you make with the technicolour yawn: I\u2019ve got to strangle the lizard, myself,\u201d was the wombat\u2019s contribution to the conversation. \u2013 Jimmy Hollis i Dickson<\/em> <\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThe booze bus would have bloody hard yakka getting here: it\u2019s beyond the black stump!\u201d retorted the kangaroo, leaning forward to facilitate the egress of her stumpy-legged passenger.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cDo I understand that you would be appreciative of a beer?\u201d asked Jon, fishing three cans of the \u2018amber fluid\u2019 out of the sack he had left lying on the ground, while the wombat delicately disappeared behind a tree to take care of business.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYou little ripper!\u201d exclaimed the kangaroo, adding to the unseen wombat: \u201cthis bastard\u2019s blood\u2019s worth bottling!\u201d \u2013 Wilhelmina Lyre<\/em> <\/p>\n\n\n\n

[An (unfortunately: ONLY<\/strong>) nearly comatose Jane Austen (zombie) has asked her literary agents to pass on the following contribution to our work. Frankly, I\u2019m getting a bit narked that she\u2019s muscling in here, using up MY turns at bat, so that my own rules bar me from contributing original additions of my own. It is only crass commercial calculation (you see: I have a turn for alliteration) that urges me to cede my rightful place to her. After all, we\u2019ll be able to splash \u201cThe NEW novel by JANE AUSTEN (and co-writers)\u201d all over the front cover.<\/em>]<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cTo sit in the shade on a fine day and look upon verdure is the most perfect refreshment,\u201d opined the kangaroo.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAnd yet there is nothing like staying at home for real comfort, do not you agree?\u201d enjoined her as-yet invisible travelling companion. He could not forbear from adding: \u201cA single kangaroo with a very narrow income must be a ridiculous, disagreeable old maid \u2013 the proper sport of boys and girls; but a single sheila of good fortune is always respectable, and may be as sensible and pleasant as anybody else.\u201d \u2013 Jane Austen<\/em> <\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Several cans and enthusiastic ballads later, Aisha perched unnoticed in the violated tree assessing the peculiar scene. Shoes in hand, she was poised for attack. She absolutely had to act while she still had the strength and while there was still beer. \u2013 Victoria Fielding<\/em><\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

***<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So much for the preview, you sneaks<\/strong>! Now, who’s going to help us write the prequel?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

This is a sneak preview (a preview for sneaks) of the beginning of THE saga, which is awaiting publication as part of La Gr@not@’s relaunch (sometime early this year, 2022!) It’s a collaborative-writing novella, which was slapped together on a social media site for writers. A prequel – The Habit – is being written NOW… Continue reading saga<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-111","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","entry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/la-granota.com\/blogs\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/111","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/la-granota.com\/blogs\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/la-granota.com\/blogs\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/la-granota.com\/blogs\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/la-granota.com\/blogs\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=111"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/la-granota.com\/blogs\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/111\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":113,"href":"https:\/\/la-granota.com\/blogs\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/111\/revisions\/113"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/la-granota.com\/blogs\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=111"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/la-granota.com\/blogs\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=111"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/la-granota.com\/blogs\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=111"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}